@Anonymous: Congratulations, you have achieved Faunhood.

Now to finish out your character, you need a name and to assign your stats.

You have 10 points and every stat needs at least 1.

They're not really important, they just help me decide what the character can and can't do. As well as his career and overall life goal.

@Anonymous: Om nom nom cookie.

You are Lancelot the Third, aka "Lance."

You've never really accomplished much in life but you make up for your insecurities by being a huge douche to everyone you meet.

You do odd-jobs here and there and make a meager living off of barely any income and whats left of the inheritance from your grandpa.

Your life goal is to party, even though not many people like you.

Anyway, on with the story...

You're walking along when all of a sudden you are visited by a fairy. She bequeaths to you news that the world is going to end in 24 hours unless you do something.

Your reply...?

@Anonymous: You wedgie her in front of a picture of Amy Winehouse, she immediately regrets choosing you as the savior of the Earth.

In her depressed state she starts crying as she tells a sad tale about an ancient bloodline of bakers who would bake a cake for the Wimble King every century on the day of his arrival.

@Anonymous: Realising that you haven't eaten today and that Fairies are considered a rare delicacy in some cultures, you immediately consume the poor thing. It tastes of cupcakes and candy.

Now that your hunger is sated, you realise that the world is going to be gone in 24 hours or something.

What do you do?

@Anonymous: We're in the clear, it says that the moment she started telling us about it we recieved the quest.

You decide to head North, which is where the nearest Bed, Bath, and Beyond is located.

You arrive at the Bed Bath n Beyond, its huge for some reason.

Nevermind that, you have some serious looting to do before the Wimble King shows up and wrecks the Earth's collective shit.

Which section do you head to first?

(Unfortunately I have to go for a while, I'll be back later this afternoon to pick up.)

You head into the bed department and immediately grab yourself a sweet memory foam mattress, bitches love that shit.

@Tion: i shall fill in for totally bob. unfortunately i am not very good at the editor but whatevers.

you immediately put wheels on the matress and go cruising for chicks. you find a group of ladies and start hitting on them until you realize they are a group of thug fairies and they're angry.

what do you do?

Thanks Cookiemonstr.. now where were we... Oh, right, Fairies.

Yeah so they're all crowding you, threatening your very being with their dinky-ass fairie wants or something, so you just spin some stupid words about peace and equality and how their ulterior motives shouldn't surpass the importance of their morals... or something...

And then you ramp the nearest one with your carbed, the others are so baffled by the turn of events that they forget to chase you until you're far enough away that they'd never catch you.

Good job, you've avoided the Fairies for now.

Now where do we go?

You text your only friend and fellow Faun, Brad Motherfucking Derringer the Fourth. He had his middle name legally changed to Motherfucking through a loophole in the system.

You tell him that you need to party like its the last day of the world's existence, he tells you he's already at this sweet party and he gives you the address.

You pull up to the house, it looks pretty dead on the outside...