Am i the only one seeing the blatant irony here?

@Anonymous: Sometimes, that just makes it funnier.

@Anonymous: Actually, that's not always the case.

It is true that some "butthurt boys" don't get it that the girl isn't into them that way. It is also true that some "butthurt girls" are either not honest with themselves about what they want. Some girls meet the "nice guy," tell themselves they could make this work, and then grow bored with the attempt.

Why do girls always wind up with the jerk? Read up "irregular reinforcement" in psychology. If you don't find the connection, read again, then meditate.

That is all.

@Anonymous: its just an internet meme that plays on the stereotype of the self absorbed facebook chick, in no way have I painted a whole gender with the same brush xD

how did this picture become "friendzone general"?

@Anonymous: The reason why the girls are rarely into the nice guys is because the nice guys are almost invariably boring. Jerks are willing to play themselves up and make themselves appear interesting (which isn't always the case). As much as nice guys seem to THINK that they can offer a great relationship, they don't have a damn clue about what it is that girls actually want. Dating is an adventure, half the fun of being in a relationship is getting to know somebody, and despite the fact that some guys think being a nice friend is a qualifier, it actually takes a LOT of fun out of the relationship. Been there, done that, not happening again.

I know plenty of nice guys, in fact my boyfriend is probably the nicest guy I know. Being nice does not disqualify somebody from being relationship material, contrary to what many internet virgins seem to think. If there's attraction, if there's excitement, and if there's a connection, then the temperament of the guy is sort of irrelevant. That's why girls don't seem to care that they're dating jerks, because the other essentials of the relationship are there.

@Anonymous: "boring" is subjective. Some people are crazy about scrabble; others about books and crotcheting. That doesn't make them "boring."

You generalize because you think you know what defines a "nice" guy. The fact is you don't have a damn clue. And it is people like you that lead to such rants as the one I initially respond to.

Here's what you need to know:

A "bad boy" or "jerk" is someone who (unpredictably) alternates between being very sweet and treating a girl like an object. The unpredictability of his "nice" moods is what keeps the girl interested. (Again, read "irregular reinforcement" as it applies to psychology).

A "nice guy" is the guy who generally hears tales about the "bad boy" from the girl who has grown tired of his unpredictable behavior. However, the "nice guy" is predictable because he makes effort to be always kind and understanding. So you KNOW he won't hurt you. And it is that security many girls find boring.

As I said, meditate. Nice guys are predictable, but I have learned enough to know that many girls -- such as yourself -- are predictable too. You're not being honest with yourself. Some day, you WILL realize that.

Until then, I shall mock you privately.

>:-)

Happy "Relationship"ing.

ITT: armchair therapists

@ur_house: i don't feel so bad about mine now...

Giant candy bar for dessert.

@Anonymous: Boring is not subjective, boring is just plain damn boring. If you can't carry on a worthwhile conversation without mentioning video games, visual novels, how you're bored, etc. or you have not done anything other than stay in cooped up by yourself for the past several days, you're probably boring.

All but a few "nice guys" that I've ever met fall into this categorization, and believe me, I've known a lot. You can argue all you want that boring is subjective, but if you can't carry on a damn conversation there might be a problem.

Thanks for trying to delegitimize my "relationshipping," though, because clearly you know exactly what it is that I want in a guy. I'm not going to say that every girl is wooed in the same way, because that's obviously bollocks, but trying to argue that I'm not being honest with myself shows just how ludicrously out of touch you are with women.

There's a pattern that is very predictable, and that is that "nice" guys are the ones that seem to try to tell girls what they want, rather than letting them choose for themselves. It's why so many of them can't take the bloody hint that a girl does not want to have a relationship with them. If they were truly "nice," they'd understand that there is such thing as freedom of choice, but in the end they ignore the feelings of the one they're pursuing because of their own selfish end goal of being in a relationship with their target.

Nice guys are the biggest assholes of all, they just don't know it.

@Anonymous: Don't get defensive. I will respond to your post paragraph by paragraph.

1. Boring IS subjective. Point to ONE subject that is universally (as in, to our species) boring. ONE. Majorities don't count.

2. The conversation topics you describe may appeal to "nice guys," but that doesn't make them representative of the interests of "all nice guys." Again, you insult yourself and males by generalizing thus.

3. I was not 'delegitimizing' your relationship, although my wishes came off rather sarcastically (long story short: bad week). I apologize if you misinterpreted my closing comment in my previous post: It was not necessarily my intent, and I admit it may color my words more than I would like.

4. "Nice guys" don't tell girls what they want. It's the "nice guys" who are trying to cross over to the "jerk" category that do this. "Nice guys" listen to your woes and hope you realize they aren't like the guy you are complaining about. They never force it on you. That's why they are "nice."

Naturally, a conversation like this cannot be resolved without the ability to fully share experiences. That requires telepathy, an ability our species unfortunately lacks. So, rather than tarry and attempt to change your mind -- like a nice guy would -- I'm done.

Keep your perspective, if it comforts you. I unfortunately lack the god-like speech skill required to make you see my point of view. So farewell, and I wish you all the best in your relationship. Which, by the way, I have no reason (or inclination) to judge.

PS: Nice guys are NOT the biggest jerks of all.

@Anonymous: To be fair, you're both being defensive. Trying to cram people into two vague archetypes just doesn't work. I've know plenty of nice guys who were really assholes one-on-one, and plenty of assholes who are genuinely nice people when you get to know them. This doesn't just apply to males, it applies to everyone. You don't know someone until you know them, that's it. Just because someone is great, doesn't mean you have chemistry as a couple, there's an infinite amount of variables to a relationship beyond just being "nice" or "an asshole".

@Anonymous: Indeed. However, I was merely trying to address the female poster who felt she could pontificate about what "Nice guys" were through gross and inaccurate generalizations. My perspective, I want to believe, is grounded somewhat in scientific observation -- not mere bitterness about past relationships.

In closing, you are absolutely right. I take offense to generalizations, whether it is about the nature of "nice guys," "fat girls," or "women" in general. My defense of any of these groups is always as passionate, as can be attested to by anyone who knows me. Unfortunately, I don't take these issues personally, so I am loathe to defend these faceless groups with an identity of my own.

Once again, my thanks to all who have been reasonable.

Hmmm this seems to be a little heavy for a funny thread, oh well may as well wade in as well, its a Monday night and what better way to start a week.

I am male, and heterosexual. However 2 out of my 3 closest friends are female, and they really are just friends, I have known them for about 8 years now and never really had any "interest" in either of them. And both of them have dated no end of complete arseholes, guys who were simply using them for sex as and when they felt like it. Yet all they seemed to do while dating these guys was defend them for the very very few times they were nice or thoughtful to them.

However they have also dated guys who were genuinely nice and interesting people, sadly neither managed to keep these going, and have both reverted to dating guys I wouldn't break if I saw them crossing the street.

Both of them seem to do nothing but play "games" when dating a new guy, and both have openly admitted it to me. And I have plenty of experience with that from the other side, so I know how they are making some of those guys feel.

Now even though I love both these friends as if they were sisters, and I know they would be there for me as I am for them, you can see why I have lost faith in the "fairer" sex and have decided to become a catholic priest and turn my attention to small choir boys instead.

So "ladies" and "gentlemen" of the internet, both sides have their "nice guys" and their "jerks". Nether side is guilt free in this, however girls are much more likely to bitch openly to a guy who they know likes them, whether or not they realise how this will make him feel, where as blokes are much more likely to use a girl who likes them for their own means whilst disregarding her feelings.

TL:DR Relationships are, 90% of the time, an emotional kick in the balls. You have been warned, anything you now do is on your own heads. I personally find it easier to not play the &quo…

Become a lesbian - problem solved.

@Anonymous: I looked at turning gay but I am not nearly stylish enough for them to let me join their club :(

@Anonymous: I'm not stylish at all. Being gay is being gay.

@Anonymous: While you have a very valid point I will settle for "Bitter Old Man with the be birds at the end of the street" as my goal in life.

ITT: Butthurt