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My challenge :: I get to choose EITHER couple OR friend zone ... when what I really want is either a casual relationship (sex/friendship) OR a serious something good (perfect match). Why girls force you to choose to sleep with them OR be their friend will always baffle me ...
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@Anonymous: Think about it: what do you do with your friends? You hang out, have meals, watch movies, talk on the phone, etc. A couple, or a girlfriend is all that plus sex. There's no such thing as friends with benefits. There's a fuck buddy, with whom you only fuck. As a girl, I have to say that there's something about sex that makes one very vulnerable. If it's just a one stand, most people (male and female) feel very cheap the next day. A lot of people (male and female) that I know have tried this route to protect themselves emotionally but have ultimately failed.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis
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Those seem to be the only two options ever available to me. It'd be nice to actually romance and love a chick, but its never as easy after the best you've had breaks your heart. Friendships with women just aren't my thing(drama sucks) I can literally count on one hand how many female friends I have.
So love for me is when she wakes me up with breakfast the morning after, or shower sex. Whichever comes first. -
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@Anonymous: Nobody give him a fuck yeah sticker.
Its like everyone on canv.as gets the type of sticker they use on their posts. -
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@len80: I know this girl from high school. We don't hang out anymore. She asks me to meet up so we can fuck.
Although I decline (not my type of thing I guess), if I went through with it, we would probably just meet up for sex on a regular basis and not have a real friendship.
So yeah, there's a such thing as a fuck buddy. -
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@Anonymous: I didn't say there's no such thing as a fuck buddy, I just said it's not a very fulfilling, sustainable way to go.
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@Anonymous: I'm definitely not naive, seen a lot of the world, and I'd like to say I'm still kinda young at 31. I definitely have more life experience than most people do at my age. That was a really arrogant judgement to make.
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@Jiakko: no worries, I know Yiska, she's awesome. That's just a quote that really moved me recently, and I've posted it twice now, I think. I noticed there's a lot of people who shut themselves off emotionally, including someone with whom I was close with. It's really sad that in order to avoid heartbreak they avoid love altogether. I strongly believe that it is better to have loved and lost a love, than to have never loved at all.
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@len80: I would've never guessed. Sorry to hear that. Well, when you put it that way, it actually makes sense not to live that way. But it still feels hard. I certainly don't want to not be with someone, I'm just really scared at the thought. I would like to think I would still be with them if I really felt something for them, but it's still a bit of a scary thought for me.
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